Life moving forward

I have struggled with what to write knowing I need to update this blog.  Tonight I made the decision to sit down for 10 minutes and just see what comes out.  I am not going to over think this or give into any self doubt.  One of my many faces in this world is a writer and I need to write.

The world is moving fast and most days I feel like a car has been put in gear and is rolling slowly as I hang on to the door handle.  This is my life so I know it will not leave me in the dust but I feel myself being pulled forward at a quicker pace than I am accustomed to living.  Summer is in full swing.  I will admit a part of me was dreading having to juggle E's camps and babysitters so I could work to build my business, repair relationships harmed by the session and work to keep new connections strong.  I am happy to say it has been pleasant thus far.  My recovery of the session is ongoing, I have not gotten a full break yet but Ella and I are getting to spend some time alone.  We are finding quality time away from the stress of after school chaos, homework and dinner.  I am learning what a bright, funny kid she is with a passion for telling jokes and making people laugh.  She is intuitive which is a little intimidating.

Today, I was in deep in thought and she put her arm around me and asked, "Mommy why are you sad?"  She was right, I was sad but I could not name the emotion until she said it.  If asked, I would have said I was stressed or tired but she was right, it was sadness.  She gave me a hug and said, "you know its going to be okay."  How did I get so lucky?  And she is right, everything will be okay.  We finished our day visiting the library, building a lego house and painting pictures, happy pictures.

My baby girl is in bed now, she is safe and mommy is happy.  Tomorrow we will see if I can get the damn car in neutral for a bit.