My Sobering Moment

My friend earned his one year AA sobriety chip and asked me to attend his meeting.  I agreed to go.  I did not know what to wear or what kind of people I would encounter.  I was feeling a little nervous, a little scared and secretly a little superior to those I was sure would show up in attendance.  The meeting was held on campus, close to downtown so I was sure there would be a mix of students and professionals.  All of them would be addicts.  I was sure I would not fit in with them.

The meeting started promptly and that I sat overdressed with my arms crossed, open ears and an open heart.  These people deserved my respect for what they have overcome and my pity for where they have been in their journeys to sobriety; didn't they?  I looked around and surmised the average age of the crowded room was about 22.  I was not just overdressed but now I felt old.  The fresh, innocent faces showed few, if any signs, of their addictions.  One by one, they put a voice to their struggles and it become clear that although I was older than most of them they had all lived enough for four lifetimes.  The journeys and Hell they have seen and lived also made them wiser than I expected.  It was sobering moment when I realized I could learn a lot from an addict.

The meeting took place in a basement but the atmosphere loosely resembled a church.  Actually, it resembled what a church should be.  The honestly in the room was disarming.  "Hi.  I am John and I am an addict/alcoholic"  I smirked when I first heard it because it really was just like in the movies.  After hearing one testimony after another the purity of their words and the strength of their faith was overwhelming.  The was a room full of addicts and alcoholics; this was also a room full of Christians.  My presence in my church every Sunday (most Sundays….) is a declaration that I am weak.  I should stand and say, "Hi, my name is Wendy and I am a sinner," but I don't speak.  I go to church each week for one hour, pray a few times during the week and then question why I sometimes feel lost.  The people in that basement on that day live "church" every minute of every day as a way to stay clean and more importantly to stay alive.

A familiar theme in the meeting was living not in the past or future but the present; this very moment.  When you live in the moment you are fully present and can correct or address actions that cause anxiety. When you live in the moment you live without regret.  That is when it hit me; I am not an addict or alcoholic but I am "one of them" only I at times aspire to reach their level of faith on a daily basis.  We should all be so aware to live with that kind of faith.  I hate to think I would need an addiction to get me there.

To be blunt, I am inspired.  There were no saints in the that room.  We were all sinners just trying to find our way.
Be blessed

Bubbles Bubbles, Toils and Troubles

Blowing Bubbles was always a fun activity as a kid.  I could only do it for a short period of time before getting bored but I liked it just the same.  This weekend I watched my son blow bubbles on my parent's porch.  He did not last long either before pouring out the "bubble juice" on the porch.... and the dog.  As a kid, I loved the bubbles but hated watching them pop.  I wished they could float into the air and live on for miles.  The delicate nature of the wet, fragile creations and their very temporary state of being upset me.  My son is three and he just likes to makes messes; that is his excuse for his short sessions.

My thoughts on bubbles aligns with my current thoughts on life.  I dislike things I cannot trust, things that are not solid.  I have many acquaintances but only a few real friends.  I can be the life of the party but am most comfortable when the party consists of 4 people.  I also love to get lost in a a huge crowd and not have to be anything to anyone--that is the float on for miles and not be touched part of the bubble blowing philosophy.

Days like today make me wish I could enjoy my temporary state of life and enjoy the bubbles for the few seconds they float.  I wish that when one popped I could clap and smile and recognize the fun of creating bubbles instead of sigh at their demise.  Maybe tomorrow.

Today I see the moments in life as bubbles that are temporary and pass far too quickly.  From my childhood, to my kids' baby days, to many of my relationships; all here one minute and gone the next.  I could grab the dish soap and make some more bubble juice.  I could add some glycerin to make the bubbles stronger and set out to create a bubble storm but I see that as the role faith plays in my life. Life is temporary as are our precious moments in it.

As Christians we recognize though one bubble pops another will be created and we can have all the bubble juice we want to continue blowing life into the soapy water.  Life is not perfect but moments, like bubbles are fleeting; they are not meant to last and shame on me for not enjoying while they are present.  "Don't cry because its over, smile because it happened" is a great piece of advice.  When one bubble pops there will be others floating by filled with another promise and another memory.  Of course, if Boone is around all bets are off, your dog may get sick and you will just have to enjoy the sunshine.  Either way faith will carry us through the day.
Peace