Session is a complicated time for everyone who plays a role
at the Capitol. The legislative process
is meant to kill bills; the good ones and the bad ones. The actual process of accomplishing this
requires long hours, at times shortened tempers and attention spans and a lot
of communication. Many times, after
session people find that not only their bills did not make it through the
process but neither did some of their friendships, marriages, sanity, and
relationships.
I try to hold things together, maintain perspective and keep
moving forward but there are days where I get stopped cold in my tracks. Today was one of them. I decided, with Wednesday being my long
hearing night, I would escape the Capitol for lunch with E. It was meant to be a surprise for her and
therapy for me; also a reminder about what is real and what is not in my
world.
She was thrilled to see me. We joined for a huge hug and I could feel her heart racing in her
chest. I waited for her to get her food
and find us seats in her cafeteria. She
is so independent, tall and beautiful so while her heart raced mine felt like it
stopped trying to freeze the moment and her image. We sat and started our visit. My phone started beeping, the kids around us
were loud; the scene was less than ideal and I got overwhelmed. I looked down in her big blue eyes and mine
filled with tears. I could not hold them
back. I wondered if she would ever know
this feeling-this overwhelming, all consuming love that I feel for her. Mothers worry, pray, bite our tongues, speak
our minds and endure countless sacrifices to help keep their babies’ world
whole. I am a mother. But there is a price we pay for these things
and during certain moments like our lunch today I feel the weight of that price
and simply broke under the pressure.
Typical of E, she pulled from a conversation we had last
night to comfort me. And with her face turning red and tears building in her eyes she said,
“Mommy, you are enough.” In a broken voice I whispered, “So are you, baby. So are you. Today you are MORE but you are always enough.”
Last night she was having a moment where her struggle for
perfectionism reared its ugly head. I
sat her down and said, “Above all else in this world, know you are ENOUGH. I am ENOUGH, you are ENOUGH, and we are all
ENOUGH. That is the beauty of having God
in our lives because we know He loves us, and because He does we are ENOUGH. Even when we mess up, act up, whatever.”
I am enough. Session
be damned. Bring it on. I am enough (at least me and my family think so).
