"Ugh, I won't talk to strangers". We had to tell her the answer was still, "no" to her request to walk to school all alone. Granted it is only 4 blocks away but these are uncertain times and the world has populated itself with some unsavory people even in West Central Austin. Besides that, she is only 5 years old.

Later that same night I was tucking E in and for the first time since we've been in the "big house" she did not ask for her closet light to be turned on. Instead we were able to enjoy the glow- in -the -dark stars that illuminated the ceiling directly above her bed. Together we tried to count the stars and began to say our prayers. I kissed her cheek got up to leave when she stopped me by saying, "mommy, don't want my closet light on. Everyone knows monsters don't live in closets.
"That's right, baby," I offered. She quickly added, "they walk thru doors".

(Gulp). My mind flashed back to our earlier conversation about her not walking to school by herself. It is my earnest prayer E does not ever have first hand experience about how true her monster statement was. They do walk through doors and that is why I lock mine.

She Waved Goodbye

There I stood holding one baby on my hip and watching the other one walk away to her future. Oh sure, she was only walking herself to the cafeteria where her kindergarten teacher would be waiting to take her to the classroom but she walked in the school…… alone.


We are lucky enough to get to walk E to school every morning. We even get to walk up which will be really funny when it snows. She will get to tell her kids that she walked uphill in the snow to school every morning and actually not be exaggerating—bonus! This morning during our walk to school E said it would be okay with her if I just dropped her off in the car tomorrow. I asked if she was ready to unbuckle her seat belt and carry her back-back all by herself because I would not be able to get out of the car. Her answer was simply, “Yes, I’ll be okay”. I swallowed hard and said but we like to walk you to school, Daddy really likes it. She replied, “Well then Daddy can walk me but you could just drop me off.” I ended the conversation by saying we would talk about it later.

We then approached the school. I parked the stroller got Baby Brother out and on my hip and started up the stairs. E stopped me and said “Mom, I wanted you to stay on the stairs.” I was taken aback, “You don’t want us to walk you in?” Her response, “I know where to go, I’ll be okay. I love you.” She waved and then closed the doors behind her. I swallowed the lump in my throat.

It was the most honest of conversations. She was not trying to hurt me nor was she embarrassed of me, she only wanted to assert her independence. She wanted to go in alone.

It occurred to me in that moment that it has taken me all of my 36 years of life to be as independent as my daughter is at 5 years old. I must be doing a good job.