It has been a long day. I cannot remember one that has not been long since my second child was born. Full time work, endless supplies need to be bought: diapers, formula, groceries, wipes, school supplies for my 4 year old, etc, dinners need cooking, our new house is looking too lived in after one month because with more space means the more cleaning there is to do. It is just one more thing to add to the list.
Saturday and Sundays were once days of leisure but alas, no more. Sleeping til 9AM has been replaced with prayers that the baby will sleep til 7AM uninterrupted. Watching an afternoon movie in bed has been replaced with any number of things. All I seem to do is work, work, work, go, go, go as mother, wife, manager and a thankful child of God. My life is blessed and full. Some days it feels so full I feel like I am going to burst…..literally. Fuses get shorter, frustrations grow larger and tones get sharper.
I have a beautiful, thoughtful four year old daughter who more often than not seems to be older than her natural age. It is for this reason I seemed to have made the exception the norm and expect her to act at least 6. When she falls short of this, as she does daily, I snap. I count, I raise my voice, I threaten punishment and I scare her to death. I do not mean to be cruel. I am trying to live each moment as a means to get to the next. It is not romantic or healthy but it is a way of life and I know I am not alone with that attitude although I may be one of the few who will admit it.
Tonight after the third snap of the day my daughter’s tears began to fall once again. “You have been mean to me all day (sob)” . She tends to exaggerate often but I know to her, despite her Happy Meal for lunch and hugs and kisses in between the snaps, I had been mean. To her four year old heart and mind my exception had become my norm too.
“Guilty,” I thought to myself.
“Why don’t you let me love you?” was next out of her mouth as she climbed the stairs with slumped shoulders behind me. I waited for her at the landing and scooped her up for a full-on hug. I pulled my head away and say her wet eyes and cheeks and told her we needed to pray. Together, right there on the landing with the last college football game of the night on full volume in the background as my husband watched on the couch, we prayed.
“Lord, please help me to live my days not as a means to an end but rather live it in moments that are to be remembered and filled with Your Spirit and Love. Please give me the strength to not take my blessings for granted and give me the humility to not make my days all about me, my goals, my plan, my schedule. And,” I opened one eye to see my daughter smiling at me so I closed quickly with “And dear God please do not ever let my babies question the love of their mother.” I ended with a dramatic "Amen" and a kiss and carried her off to bed giggling where we read books she drifted off the sleep.
Tomorrow is a new day, a new gift and I promise to be better. Not try to be better but to get it right because my babies deserve nothing less. I am not and will not ever be perfect and nether will they. One moment at a time with each breath offered as a prayer I can do it.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Not Seing the Whole Picture
I held in my hands two 11x17 pieces of white paper that were covered in yellow bpaint. The irregular and semi circled brush strokes were the artistic work of my three year old. They were covered from edge to edge with bright yellow paint. She was so proud of her work and I tried to be as enthusiatic as she deserved me to be but was very curious what the heck she was trying to paint. I held them up facing her and asked, "what do you want me to see in these, baby girl?".
"Mom, it is part of the sun, silly", was her response. Of course it was, of course, how could I possibly miss that! A part of the sun....not THE sun. Of course! I just did not see the bigger picture and was trying to focus on the concrete not the abstract. I also did not consider the perspective of a small child. "It would take too much paper to paint the whole sun", then she ran off leaving me to digest her words and smile. My baby girl is smart.
"For we walk by faith, not by sight, "that is one of my favorite scriptures. We must concentrate on the bigger picture not rely on what is of this world, the concrete. We must also remember the world is made up of perspectives and we all see things a bit different from our neighbors. My baby girl is so smart!
"Mom, it is part of the sun, silly", was her response. Of course it was, of course, how could I possibly miss that! A part of the sun....not THE sun. Of course! I just did not see the bigger picture and was trying to focus on the concrete not the abstract. I also did not consider the perspective of a small child. "It would take too much paper to paint the whole sun", then she ran off leaving me to digest her words and smile. My baby girl is smart.
"For we walk by faith, not by sight, "that is one of my favorite scriptures. We must concentrate on the bigger picture not rely on what is of this world, the concrete. We must also remember the world is made up of perspectives and we all see things a bit different from our neighbors. My baby girl is so smart!
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Show Me the Love
This picture is making its way around my familial circles and I have to admit I am pushing it. I love this photo. This is my E and her baby brother and it accurately depicts their relationship....she is oblivious to him. At 3.5 years old it is all about her and he lives around her life but not really in it yet. This picure was taken Easter morning. I was hoping for the perfect picture to send to the grandmothers and put in a frame on my mantle. I delicately placed my infant child in his big sister's loving arms. He was cooing at the time and then......I asked her to please support his head. My actual words were please "hold his head". She did. He did not like it. I clicked the camera then saved him from her "loving embrace".
E will be a great big sister. Today she does not really want to hold her brother. After hearing me gripe about his diapers leaking her continuing fear is that he will pee on her. One day she will want to be around him, one day she will be protective and she will voluntarily support him, all of him, not just his head. I still will not be able to promise that he will not pee on her but that's the risk you take with a little brother.
Monday, April 5, 2010
The Reason for It All
I wrote these paragraphs in the weeks prior to my water breaking at 28 weeks:
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My skin is crawling off of my bone, painful to touch and burning from the inside out. The weight of the world is resting on my mind and shoulders. How does one navigate your way through the darkness of the endless night? My answer is prayer to heal my spirit and Motrin to calm my body. My conversation with God ended with no verbal answer only a view of the rising sun. I have been told that sleep is God’s request to “trust me”. I do and so I did. ---Wendy Foster Jan. 2010
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6 Ft Small
Weeds surround me and the sun finds its way to my face. The warmth feels solid. I can smile in the sun; it is when the shadows overtake my space that I begin to shrink. My hair blows in the breeze and the stray hairs, like fingers, grip my face. I stand frozen. The stings of the weeds quickly lull my skin’s sensitivity to a numbness that is both comfortable and nauseating. If I were taller maybe I could see a path in the field before me. Perhaps the wake of steps taken by those before me, perhaps a predestined path could be seen with help of the same breeze that freely tosses my hair about if I could only see. Oh, what I would give to be 6ft tall. Wendy Foster Jan. 2010
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I know stress played into B's prematurity and have vowed to not ever let stress get to me that deeply again. I once read when you start to stress you should ask the question, "just who do you think you are?". Do you think whatever you do today will really make that huge of a difference in the eyes of God? Really, is your presentation, your writing assignment, your choice of dress, food, etc going to change anything in this world on a grand scheme. That resonated with me and then I forgot it when things started piling up and my to do list not only did not get done but was not being touched. I began to think my job what more important than anything else even forgetting about the gift of life I was carrying inside me.
It is scary I got to that place but I did and today am a better woman, mother and wife for it. The bedrest was an answer from God and a lesson for me. He can knock me flat at any time while protecting and saving me at the same time. "Be still and know I am God". I used that as a mantra while on bedrest and am having the words hung in my office to relfect on when faced with stress. I have witnessed and felt the power of God. To those who question Him, His presence or His power just have them come talk to me.
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My skin is crawling off of my bone, painful to touch and burning from the inside out. The weight of the world is resting on my mind and shoulders. How does one navigate your way through the darkness of the endless night? My answer is prayer to heal my spirit and Motrin to calm my body. My conversation with God ended with no verbal answer only a view of the rising sun. I have been told that sleep is God’s request to “trust me”. I do and so I did. ---Wendy Foster Jan. 2010
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6 Ft Small
Weeds surround me and the sun finds its way to my face. The warmth feels solid. I can smile in the sun; it is when the shadows overtake my space that I begin to shrink. My hair blows in the breeze and the stray hairs, like fingers, grip my face. I stand frozen. The stings of the weeds quickly lull my skin’s sensitivity to a numbness that is both comfortable and nauseating. If I were taller maybe I could see a path in the field before me. Perhaps the wake of steps taken by those before me, perhaps a predestined path could be seen with help of the same breeze that freely tosses my hair about if I could only see. Oh, what I would give to be 6ft tall. Wendy Foster Jan. 2010
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I know stress played into B's prematurity and have vowed to not ever let stress get to me that deeply again. I once read when you start to stress you should ask the question, "just who do you think you are?". Do you think whatever you do today will really make that huge of a difference in the eyes of God? Really, is your presentation, your writing assignment, your choice of dress, food, etc going to change anything in this world on a grand scheme. That resonated with me and then I forgot it when things started piling up and my to do list not only did not get done but was not being touched. I began to think my job what more important than anything else even forgetting about the gift of life I was carrying inside me.
It is scary I got to that place but I did and today am a better woman, mother and wife for it. The bedrest was an answer from God and a lesson for me. He can knock me flat at any time while protecting and saving me at the same time. "Be still and know I am God". I used that as a mantra while on bedrest and am having the words hung in my office to relfect on when faced with stress. I have witnessed and felt the power of God. To those who question Him, His presence or His power just have them come talk to me.
La Vida Loca
Who knew that I would count my time to use separate shampoo and conditioner as luxury time? The 2 in 1 stuff is great but when it is not a choice to use it you begin to resent it. Silly? Perhaps, but such is my life these days. To the outside world I am "normal". I am walking upright with a baby in my arms while chasing a beautiful, healthy three year old. Inside I am two blinks away from a catatonic sleep, the kind that would make Snow White jealous. My body aches from readjusting to, well, movement. Bedrest recovery is a challenge to say the least. I took a pain killer left over from B's delivery Saturday night to ease the aches and allow me to sleep. The Easter weekend in our neighborhood is a full contact sport and not for the weak. We went from sun up to sun down. That night I went to sleep smiling and a little less judgemental of Matthew Perry and others who have gotten hooked on the stuff. It was a little bit of Heaven and I was grateful. Don't worry there are only 2 left and no refills. Mom, I will not become a junkie. And once I get realease from my doctor maybe I can start the physical therapy needed to get better and leave he pills behind....after the final two are gone! :)
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Diapergate--Show Me Some Luvs
One thing menitoned but not expanded on in yesterday's rant was the 4th person in my little Clarksville house, my son, B. He is 6 weeks old this week but -1 week in gestational terms; he was due on April 1st but just could not wait to meet all of us so he came in February. A baby does not require tons of stuff but they have it anyway. We, as adults and mothers, cannot help ourselves but to provide a baby access to so many things they will not remember and without our credit card bill we would most likely forget. Diaper Genies, wipe warmers, blankets to coordinate with every outfit, shoes (really a baby does NOT need shoes), etc., you get the point of the list of uneeded but most often bought baby items. One of the things a baby must have is DIAPERS. They come in all different brands and can be disposable or cloth but in my world there is only disposable. A good friend sent me a business referral for a cloth diaper service with a comment, "you may think I am crazy but I love this service". She is right I do think she is nuts- with two kids what the hell is she thinking? We do disposable but I do put them in the recycle bin so my conscious is clear.
My son was early so he is tiny but too big for a preemie diaper. We are in diaper no man's land and it is tough on both of us. He wakes up drenched and I have to do more laundry, give multiple baths in a day and deal with my screaming baby. We are trying them all the big two are not making the cut. Huggies and Pampers are dead to me. Seriously, he leaks in 5 out of 5 Huggies and 4 out of 5 Pampers. I want to find some Luvs but in Austin apparently we are snobs and only deal with the big two. In a town that strives so hard at times to put major chain stores and restaurants out of business it makes no sense that I have to go to one of these stores to buy Luvs. The grocery stores do not carry them and I am about to pull my hair out as B wakes again screaming as a I type and I can already see the wet stains on his onesie. E, my daughter, is now screaming that B stinks because she has it in her head that pee stinks. Of course, hers does when she pees on her floor in protest of various things. And as discussed yesterday, the pee runs downhill in this house and behind the armoir which in the heat of summer is going to reek. Hopefully we will be in the new house and the renter tenant can deal with the stinch. For now, B will be in his 5th outfit of the day and mommy just may have to uncork a bottle of wine....
My son was early so he is tiny but too big for a preemie diaper. We are in diaper no man's land and it is tough on both of us. He wakes up drenched and I have to do more laundry, give multiple baths in a day and deal with my screaming baby. We are trying them all the big two are not making the cut. Huggies and Pampers are dead to me. Seriously, he leaks in 5 out of 5 Huggies and 4 out of 5 Pampers. I want to find some Luvs but in Austin apparently we are snobs and only deal with the big two. In a town that strives so hard at times to put major chain stores and restaurants out of business it makes no sense that I have to go to one of these stores to buy Luvs. The grocery stores do not carry them and I am about to pull my hair out as B wakes again screaming as a I type and I can already see the wet stains on his onesie. E, my daughter, is now screaming that B stinks because she has it in her head that pee stinks. Of course, hers does when she pees on her floor in protest of various things. And as discussed yesterday, the pee runs downhill in this house and behind the armoir which in the heat of summer is going to reek. Hopefully we will be in the new house and the renter tenant can deal with the stinch. For now, B will be in his 5th outfit of the day and mommy just may have to uncork a bottle of wine....
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Little House Without Sanity
Some may have thought I was tough to be on strict bedrest for nearly 6 weeks. You did not realize I have been in training of mental toughness for about 3 years. My cute, little green house on 10th Street, built in 1925, looks almost storybook-isque with the little fenced in side yard. The spring flowers are planted and mulched so neatly thanks to my husband's hard work. They meet you at the front of the yard and guide you to our door. If you were here you would notice some children's toys scattered around; not too many but just enough to let you know a young family lives here. It is not polite to complain so I look for the silver linings.
What the exterior picture does not show is the 925 sq. ft that houses 4 bodies within its walls. You would not see the 2 closets that measure about 2 ft wide and are meant to hold ALL of my clothes in addition to the hsband's and two kids. We make due with an armoir, 3 chests and lots of crap in corners and on the floor. We may be one of the few homes where we cannot hide what truly goes on in our house. We cannot hide ANYTHING. Surprise visits are not welcomed or enjoyed, in case you are curious.
The exterior also gives the illusion that our home sets flat on its foundation- it is funny how your eyes can play tricks on you. As you make the 2 minute stroll that it takes to get from the front door to the back door (front room, butler pantry, kitchen) you will notice a slight decline. If one would like to test it all they would need to do is spill a few drops of water and watch it roll down. An orange or small child's ball that you will surely have to step on or around to get to the kitchen would also work. Perhaps we can use the decline to teach the laws of gravity to our children.
My little girl's room is behind the kitchen. It is a good size with great light and has its own climate control. Someone with their infinite wisdom placed a window unit in that room and did not insulate it. Before I taped a black trash bag over the window unit that is artfully held up with duct tape the window was an issue. The room did serve as a great spot to thaw out on a 100 plus degree day that we have in Texas when you get that rare brain freeze after eating ice cream. The heat distracts your mind. In the cooler months my baby girl like to hide in the 10 plus quilts I lay on her bed. It is great fun. Thank God she is hot blooded.
The bathroom really could be featured in a magazine, it is adorable with black an white tile, a claw foot tub and full oval shower curtain just like in the movies. It has truly brought Hunt and I together. Prior to kids we lived in a condo and each had our own bathroom. We did not really visit in the morning because we had our own space and did not see eachother. Today we converse all morning. We are more afecionate because you cannot help but brush up against eachother while fighting for space in front of the antique, pedestal sink. My favorite moments are when poltiely offer for the other to spit first while brushing our teeth so we do not hit heads. That was a learned behavior. Good times.
In this time of recession and so many homeless I do not mean to sound ungrateful. I have a roof over my head and my family is provided for daily. We are blessed and oh so close to having sanity in the near future. Yes, soon enough we will have some more room to move. My real house is being built right next door. Sheetrocking began on Monday and I cried I was so happy. It will not huge overall but mommy's closet will be. It is the size of a small bedroom and yes, people, I have earned it!
The exterior also gives the illusion that our home sets flat on its foundation- it is funny how your eyes can play tricks on you. As you make the 2 minute stroll that it takes to get from the front door to the back door (front room, butler pantry, kitchen) you will notice a slight decline. If one would like to test it all they would need to do is spill a few drops of water and watch it roll down. An orange or small child's ball that you will surely have to step on or around to get to the kitchen would also work. Perhaps we can use the decline to teach the laws of gravity to our children.
My little girl's room is behind the kitchen. It is a good size with great light and has its own climate control. Someone with their infinite wisdom placed a window unit in that room and did not insulate it. Before I taped a black trash bag over the window unit that is artfully held up with duct tape the window was an issue. The room did serve as a great spot to thaw out on a 100 plus degree day that we have in Texas when you get that rare brain freeze after eating ice cream. The heat distracts your mind. In the cooler months my baby girl like to hide in the 10 plus quilts I lay on her bed. It is great fun. Thank God she is hot blooded.
The bathroom really could be featured in a magazine, it is adorable with black an white tile, a claw foot tub and full oval shower curtain just like in the movies. It has truly brought Hunt and I together. Prior to kids we lived in a condo and each had our own bathroom. We did not really visit in the morning because we had our own space and did not see eachother. Today we converse all morning. We are more afecionate because you cannot help but brush up against eachother while fighting for space in front of the antique, pedestal sink. My favorite moments are when poltiely offer for the other to spit first while brushing our teeth so we do not hit heads. That was a learned behavior. Good times.
In this time of recession and so many homeless I do not mean to sound ungrateful. I have a roof over my head and my family is provided for daily. We are blessed and oh so close to having sanity in the near future. Yes, soon enough we will have some more room to move. My real house is being built right next door. Sheetrocking began on Monday and I cried I was so happy. It will not huge overall but mommy's closet will be. It is the size of a small bedroom and yes, people, I have earned it!
Friday, March 19, 2010
Rock Star for a day
I am not an idiot. Maybe a little sleep deprived these days but not stupid so when I see an opportunity I take it.... E has been asking for strawberry ice cream for a week. I continue to put her off saying when I get to the store she will get her ice cream. Well, today I broke down and had to make a quick trip to our neighborhood store and took E with me. She stood in front of the ice cream freezer with huge eyes and took in the wide range of choices she had and began to question her choice of strawberry.
"Mom, I want strawberry.... NO! wait I want chocolate..... no strawberry...." I pulled out the Neopolitan tub and showed her the possibility of having BOTH her choices plus vanilla. She shrieked with excitement and threw her arms around my legs. I had reached the high point of my day and earned her ultimate admiration. I was a rock star, even if just for a moment, and I savored every minute.
"Mom, I want strawberry.... NO! wait I want chocolate..... no strawberry...." I pulled out the Neopolitan tub and showed her the possibility of having BOTH her choices plus vanilla. She shrieked with excitement and threw her arms around my legs. I had reached the high point of my day and earned her ultimate admiration. I was a rock star, even if just for a moment, and I savored every minute.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Our Journey
Giving thanks there was nothing more than what I could take
Waters rupturedearly and off to bed I went
flat on my back is how my next 6 weeks were spent
With eack leak and movement within I prayed he was okay.
Every next minute was a goal and there was a victory with each passing day
Prayers went up and blessings flowed down
Home routines continued without me around
People asked how could I do it, lay so still
I would answer how could I not, that this was God's will
My labor was induced and delivery did not come quick, his birth is marked by my scar
He did a quick stint in NICU where he quickly met the bar
We are all home now gaining strength everyday
With daddy and big sister we will conquer our challenges, come what may
It has been quite a journey, our path will continue to reveal itself in time
We do not question what has happened. The glory is God's but the memories are mine.
Monday, March 1, 2010
The world of NICU
Our world continues to turn and Boone's stay in NICU has not become its center but close. He is free of all tubes, oxygen, IVs, etc and is in an open crib. Saturday night Boone was given a 7 hour oxygen test. He failed the test so he trip home has been delayed for a short bit. It seems after Boone ate his breathing rates dropped a bit. It is not life threatening, he just needs to get a little bigger and he can come home. The doctor will try the test again on Wednesday so our fingers are crossed and prayer card is full.
I sit and look at the baby "things" we have scattered throughout our tiny home and have mixed emotions. There is sadness in acknowledging that he is not yet home. Hope in knowing he may be here in a few days. Happiness that my baby is alive, growing, and maturing without cords, IVs, tubes. So many babies in the NICU are not near as fortunate in that respect. I pray for their families. Guilt that in some way I caused this hardship on my infant son and my family. Humility, excitement, sadness...they are all present and mixed up together. Noticeably absent is fear because unlike some I know my baby is coming home and will be a healthy little boy.
Today I had to leave a wide eyed, relaxed Boone in the his crib after his feeding was done. He has the biggest blue eyes! It hurts to walk away when he looks like he is staring straight at you. The doctor who walked in to do Boone's daily asseessment reminded me Boone really cannot see me turning my back to walk out on him but I would like to think he would miss my scent. I had just been telling him that the loud beeps and alarms he hears in the NICU will not be in our house--a little encouragement never hurts even with a preemie. He will have to endure loud shrieks and laughter from his big sister and endless hours of children's TV. Everything has a price....
I sit and look at the baby "things" we have scattered throughout our tiny home and have mixed emotions. There is sadness in acknowledging that he is not yet home. Hope in knowing he may be here in a few days. Happiness that my baby is alive, growing, and maturing without cords, IVs, tubes. So many babies in the NICU are not near as fortunate in that respect. I pray for their families. Guilt that in some way I caused this hardship on my infant son and my family. Humility, excitement, sadness...they are all present and mixed up together. Noticeably absent is fear because unlike some I know my baby is coming home and will be a healthy little boy.
Today I had to leave a wide eyed, relaxed Boone in the his crib after his feeding was done. He has the biggest blue eyes! It hurts to walk away when he looks like he is staring straight at you. The doctor who walked in to do Boone's daily asseessment reminded me Boone really cannot see me turning my back to walk out on him but I would like to think he would miss my scent. I had just been telling him that the loud beeps and alarms he hears in the NICU will not be in our house--a little encouragement never hurts even with a preemie. He will have to endure loud shrieks and laughter from his big sister and endless hours of children's TV. Everything has a price....
Packing up (Feb 20th)
It has been 34 days since I entered the hospital and tomorrow I go home. Although Boone is staying here I have no doubt he will be home very soon. I think my leaving a little before he joins us is somewhat of a blessing. I have not slept in my bed, read Ella a bedtime story, or gotten her ready for school in over a month. Boone has cemeted his place in our family and it is my time to reintroduce myself into the routines of our family. I am excited and know Boone is where he needs to be for now and will be home soon
As an update: Boone is completely off oxygen and antibiodics. Tomorrow he will be taken off IV nutrients and given solely milk. This is a huge step! His feedings have increased from 6 mm of milk to 15mm to 25 mm over the last 3 days. With each increase the amount of IV nutrients goes down and tomorrow is completely removed. He is swallowing well and handling the increasing like a champ. He does get tired and we take breaks but he is getting it down. That takes a lot of energy for the little guy so one can expect some hiccups.
I cannot say enough about God's grace throughout this experience thus far. Boone's angels continue to protect him and I have no doubt that will continue.
My time here has broaden my view of the world despite my confined quarters. I have made friends and been touched by so many kind gestures shown by St. Davids's employees. Even Cecilia, the woman who delivers my room service tray on most nights, gave me a good bye hug tonight. She always smiles and admires Ella's artwork and the beautiful flowers so many of you have sent. It is the little touches like that that kept me going on the tough days.
Boone is a stud and I am feeling better every day. Life is good, God is great.
As an update: Boone is completely off oxygen and antibiodics. Tomorrow he will be taken off IV nutrients and given solely milk. This is a huge step! His feedings have increased from 6 mm of milk to 15mm to 25 mm over the last 3 days. With each increase the amount of IV nutrients goes down and tomorrow is completely removed. He is swallowing well and handling the increasing like a champ. He does get tired and we take breaks but he is getting it down. That takes a lot of energy for the little guy so one can expect some hiccups.
I cannot say enough about God's grace throughout this experience thus far. Boone's angels continue to protect him and I have no doubt that will continue.
My time here has broaden my view of the world despite my confined quarters. I have made friends and been touched by so many kind gestures shown by St. Davids's employees. Even Cecilia, the woman who delivers my room service tray on most nights, gave me a good bye hug tonight. She always smiles and admires Ella's artwork and the beautiful flowers so many of you have sent. It is the little touches like that that kept me going on the tough days.
Boone is a stud and I am feeling better every day. Life is good, God is great.
Yesterday's headline (Feb 18th)
As you may have heard, Boone McDaniel Foster joined our family yesterday. He is 34 weeks old but a hefty 5.1lbs and 18.25 in. long. This is well above average for a baby his age and we are incredibly thankful. I guess eating those 3 meals a day for 30 days straight plus all the prayers had some effect! His legs and arms are very long and yes, he has blonde hair.
Labor did not go as planned. I will spare you the details but will say it ended in a surprise C section. After delivery, we were informed we made the right call with this decision as the cord was in a position that would not have allowed for a "normal" delivery.
Boone is doing fine. He is in NICU but is breathing on his own. Hunt and I visited him tonight and I got to change the tiniest diaper I have ever seen. The oxygen "thingy" was removed from his nose and I got to hold my baby!!! It was magic. His eyes opened wide and he completely calmed down. It was awesome and the first of many moments together. He drank by bottle tonight so life just keeps getting better. We are taking this day by day and have not been told when he will be released but if things continue on this path it is my bet that he will be home very soon.
Pictures are coming. Thank you for all your prayers and support. I think I can speak for my entire family when I say we could not have done this without you.
Labor did not go as planned. I will spare you the details but will say it ended in a surprise C section. After delivery, we were informed we made the right call with this decision as the cord was in a position that would not have allowed for a "normal" delivery.
Boone is doing fine. He is in NICU but is breathing on his own. Hunt and I visited him tonight and I got to change the tiniest diaper I have ever seen. The oxygen "thingy" was removed from his nose and I got to hold my baby!!! It was magic. His eyes opened wide and he completely calmed down. It was awesome and the first of many moments together. He drank by bottle tonight so life just keeps getting better. We are taking this day by day and have not been told when he will be released but if things continue on this path it is my bet that he will be home very soon.
Pictures are coming. Thank you for all your prayers and support. I think I can speak for my entire family when I say we could not have done this without you.
The Pre Game (Feb 16th)
I am so excited I cannot sleep. Tomorrow I will be induced to bring this little one into the world. This means I will not only have a son by this weekend but I will also be going home. I pray the baby may be strong enough to make the journey home with me but chances are he will be staying here for a little bit. Tomorrow is one day shy of 34 weeks. It is a long way from where we started four weeks ago but still a little early for him. It is in God's hands.
I was told today is a day for blood work and tests. An IV will be started at midnight and the induction will officially begin at 5 AM tomorrow.
I was induced with Ella so I know the drill. Of course, she was 6 days late.... A bit of a different story. I keep picturing her 8 lb. 4 oz. body and wonder what half of her looks like, we will soon find out.
I pray for patience and strength as we find out what, if any, challenges lie before us. From feeding techniques to the tiniest of diapers and more.
As said before, the baby will most likely stay a bit in the NICU. I am prepared for that as hard as it will be. I am delighting in the fact that I will be able to hug Ella and Hunt, shower normally, brush my teeth standing up, eat while sitting completely erect. These are things I took for granted and am thrilled to do again.
The doctors have told me I will move slow for the next weeks but they forget I am just happy to move at all :). Forward motion is good! And so we proceed, making the best of each day here and today is no different only that this today is followed by a very certain tomorrow: Baby Boy's birthday!!! :)
God Bless.
I was told today is a day for blood work and tests. An IV will be started at midnight and the induction will officially begin at 5 AM tomorrow.
I was induced with Ella so I know the drill. Of course, she was 6 days late.... A bit of a different story. I keep picturing her 8 lb. 4 oz. body and wonder what half of her looks like, we will soon find out.
I pray for patience and strength as we find out what, if any, challenges lie before us. From feeding techniques to the tiniest of diapers and more.
As said before, the baby will most likely stay a bit in the NICU. I am prepared for that as hard as it will be. I am delighting in the fact that I will be able to hug Ella and Hunt, shower normally, brush my teeth standing up, eat while sitting completely erect. These are things I took for granted and am thrilled to do again.
The doctors have told me I will move slow for the next weeks but they forget I am just happy to move at all :). Forward motion is good! And so we proceed, making the best of each day here and today is no different only that this today is followed by a very certain tomorrow: Baby Boy's birthday!!! :)
God Bless.
Four Pounds!!!!! (Feb 9th)
As you may have read in my status note Baby Boy is estimated to be about 4 lbs. It is another answered prayer. As if the baby was giving me a little nudge of encouragement he gave a great profile shot during the sonogram. The doctor printed it for us. His eye, nose-even his nostril and lips are so clearly defined it is eerie. He then turned his head and "looked" right at us and started to practice his breathing. It was a tiny miracle and just what I needed to go another week if that is what is meant to be. The fluid level was even lower this week which is to be expected the bigger baby grows but there is enough for another week so here we go...
Today was the first day I woke up and did not know what day of the week it was which frustrated me. Then I remembered that baby is 4 lbs and on Thursday (whenever that is :) ) we will be at 33 weeks so one more day won't hurt me. As the day passed I reminded myself worrying about tomorrow won't bring me comfort and it's not in my control anyway so what's the point! So I ordered up some chocolate ice cream and watched Oprah :)
Baby's heartbeat is being monitored now and he is moving all over the place. One day soon he will be in the world and out of my womb. I remember missing feeling Ella's movement and being a bit jealous when I had to share her with the world after having her all to myself after 9 months. I can only imagine that I will feel the same with my son. So I am going to close my eyes, feel his movement and give thanks God has given us another day together as one to remember when others reach out to hold him, care for him- before I share him with all of you! :).
Have a great night.
Today was the first day I woke up and did not know what day of the week it was which frustrated me. Then I remembered that baby is 4 lbs and on Thursday (whenever that is :) ) we will be at 33 weeks so one more day won't hurt me. As the day passed I reminded myself worrying about tomorrow won't bring me comfort and it's not in my control anyway so what's the point! So I ordered up some chocolate ice cream and watched Oprah :)
Baby's heartbeat is being monitored now and he is moving all over the place. One day soon he will be in the world and out of my womb. I remember missing feeling Ella's movement and being a bit jealous when I had to share her with the world after having her all to myself after 9 months. I can only imagine that I will feel the same with my son. So I am going to close my eyes, feel his movement and give thanks God has given us another day together as one to remember when others reach out to hold him, care for him- before I share him with all of you! :).
Have a great night.
32 weeks and going strong (Feb 6th)
We reached 32 weeks and are thrilled and thankful. The stream of visitors has been great as are the quiet afternoons when I get to reflect and think. The nurses up here rock. I enjoy meeting new people and getting their stories everyday. Hunt won't believe this but I am told I am the least pain in the neck patient many have :). Gold star for me and baby! Honestly, I don't understand what women like myself have to gripe about in here. We are laying flat on our backs, there just is not much to be done or complain about but whatever. I'm just glad I am not the high maintenance one in here!
Baby continues to impress on the monitors. I am hopeful we will get a new weight estimate on Monday. It is my prayer he is at least close to 4 lbs. I feel like I am doing my part by actually eating 3 meals a day. I have never eaten this much, this consistently in my adult life. For someone who is not a "foodie" eating 3 full meals a day is a challenge! Then there are also the snacks they want me to eat in between!!!! It's a whole new world in here.
I am enjoying "tales from the outside" thru visits and emails. The view from my new room allows me to see cars driving about, trees blowing in the breeze and blue sky. I am reminded how life goes on without me in the mix. At the same time, I know all too soon I will be back in it and I will have added another earthbound angel to walk among all of us. I am really okay with this temporary pause and will go as far to say I am thankful for this opportunity.
Life is good. God is great. We are all blessed.
Til next week..... Thank you for the prayers and thoughts. Have a great weekend and be safe.
Baby continues to impress on the monitors. I am hopeful we will get a new weight estimate on Monday. It is my prayer he is at least close to 4 lbs. I feel like I am doing my part by actually eating 3 meals a day. I have never eaten this much, this consistently in my adult life. For someone who is not a "foodie" eating 3 full meals a day is a challenge! Then there are also the snacks they want me to eat in between!!!! It's a whole new world in here.
I am enjoying "tales from the outside" thru visits and emails. The view from my new room allows me to see cars driving about, trees blowing in the breeze and blue sky. I am reminded how life goes on without me in the mix. At the same time, I know all too soon I will be back in it and I will have added another earthbound angel to walk among all of us. I am really okay with this temporary pause and will go as far to say I am thankful for this opportunity.
Life is good. God is great. We are all blessed.
Til next week..... Thank you for the prayers and thoughts. Have a great weekend and be safe.
Cedar Fever is gone, Baby is moving, life is great (Jan. 27th)
I am not going to lie.....last week was tough! Breathing treatments, oxygen monitors, ear aches, 4 different drugs to clear up congestion while laying flat- all I can say is it is over and it is a whole new world here at St Davids North.
Baby is moving and his heartbeat is strong. Thank you for all the visits, cards, emails and gifts. Cousins and aunts and friends gave all entered my doorway and endured the "no make up Wendy".
Yesterday was the first day I felt like a "normal" person who happens to be on bed rest. I even put some powder on my face:) Then God quickly reminded me not to get too cocky....I won't go into details but I had a wake-up call and today I am truly moving as little as possible. Everything is still critical but okay. The baby is still "cooking" nicely and my vitals are stable (i.e no sign of infection yet). The cord is no longer above his head but rather along side of it. I have not dialated but if I do, the cord is still a concern. We will not get another estimated weight for a couple of weeks. There is little fluid but that is why I am laying this flat and still while God continues to allow his greatest creation, the human body, to do it's best work and keep my unborn son safe.
Ella looks to be adjusting nicely and Hunt is holding everything together. We continue to count our blessings and all of you reading this note are counted among them. God is good. Thanks for your prayers, keep 'em coming!
Baby is moving and his heartbeat is strong. Thank you for all the visits, cards, emails and gifts. Cousins and aunts and friends gave all entered my doorway and endured the "no make up Wendy".
Yesterday was the first day I felt like a "normal" person who happens to be on bed rest. I even put some powder on my face:) Then God quickly reminded me not to get too cocky....I won't go into details but I had a wake-up call and today I am truly moving as little as possible. Everything is still critical but okay. The baby is still "cooking" nicely and my vitals are stable (i.e no sign of infection yet). The cord is no longer above his head but rather along side of it. I have not dialated but if I do, the cord is still a concern. We will not get another estimated weight for a couple of weeks. There is little fluid but that is why I am laying this flat and still while God continues to allow his greatest creation, the human body, to do it's best work and keep my unborn son safe.
Ella looks to be adjusting nicely and Hunt is holding everything together. We continue to count our blessings and all of you reading this note are counted among them. God is good. Thanks for your prayers, keep 'em coming!
My baby, My faith, my mom (Jan 21st)
Another hour down! Baby is more active, further proof of my improving health. Staying hydrated but keeping my bladder empty is a delicate balance I am learning quickly.
Christ is in charge and ever powerful; however my mom is a stud in her own right! I will never be able to thank her for all she has done already. It is easy to be brave when she's around.
Ella is starting to understand I am not coming home for a while (hopefully) but is doing okay. Most likely, we will take all of you up on offers to play. We are making plans one day at a time.
I am getting used to hand squeezes in place of hugs since I cannot lift up but I miss contact. The little things! :). I will not complain but I do miss the hugs. I also miss Hunt. He will deserve a medal when this phase of our life passes.
I have recorded baby's heartbeat to hear whenever I want! He is strong and seems to be behaving. I keep telling him he doesn't need to rush getting out here. Life is tough and he should enjoy this part of it. Hopefully, he has his daddy's temperment and will just relax. Here's to another moment, another hour and hopefully another day! Thank you again for your prayers and good thoughts.
Christ is in charge and ever powerful; however my mom is a stud in her own right! I will never be able to thank her for all she has done already. It is easy to be brave when she's around.
Ella is starting to understand I am not coming home for a while (hopefully) but is doing okay. Most likely, we will take all of you up on offers to play. We are making plans one day at a time.
I am getting used to hand squeezes in place of hugs since I cannot lift up but I miss contact. The little things! :). I will not complain but I do miss the hugs. I also miss Hunt. He will deserve a medal when this phase of our life passes.
I have recorded baby's heartbeat to hear whenever I want! He is strong and seems to be behaving. I keep telling him he doesn't need to rush getting out here. Life is tough and he should enjoy this part of it. Hopefully, he has his daddy's temperment and will just relax. Here's to another moment, another hour and hopefully another day! Thank you again for your prayers and good thoughts.
Baby Foster update (Jan. 19th)
Today has been tough BUT great news is Baby is estimated to weigh 3.1 lbs!!!!!! This is an answered prayer.
The fluid level is low but not critical. One scary thing the cord looks to be above his head. This can change as he moves but is a great concern. There are a lot of negatives and postives too. Please know the prayers are working and we are getting by. I just need to this cedar stuff out if the air!! Horizontal life with a stuffed head is almost as fun as regular bedrest :)
The nurses at St Davis North Womens Center rock. I am blessed to be surrounded by these talented people.
Your kind words, offers and prayers are humbling. Everyday I get to keep Baby inside is a gift from God as are all of you.
The fluid level is low but not critical. One scary thing the cord looks to be above his head. This can change as he moves but is a great concern. There are a lot of negatives and postives too. Please know the prayers are working and we are getting by. I just need to this cedar stuff out if the air!! Horizontal life with a stuffed head is almost as fun as regular bedrest :)
The nurses at St Davis North Womens Center rock. I am blessed to be surrounded by these talented people.
Your kind words, offers and prayers are humbling. Everyday I get to keep Baby inside is a gift from God as are all of you.
Baby and Me (Jan. 18th)
The Fosters have been on quite a ride. A short summary: water broke early, hospital bed rest, induced labor, last minute C section, Boone McDaniel Foster is born, settles in for a bit in NICU, we are waiting for him to come home. I can only write about this latest journey from my own point of view. Hunt and E have been through their own journey by living a month without Mom around but I have no idea what their thoughts are and will not dare to assume anything. I unfold this tale it will be in my sole voice and will sound a little selfish, so be it.
Below are some thoughts I put on a social networking site and will add a few updates after they are posted.
Baby and Me
(written Jan. 18th)
Late Saturday night/ early Sunday morning, I discovered my water had broken. Good news the baby is 29 weeks along. Bad news that's about 13 weeks before his due date of April 1st.
Praise God labor did not begin and we got in the hospital in time for all precautionary measures to begin.
I am on complete and total bedrest. No sitting up--have you ever tried to eat anything horizontally? It is ineresting. I keep baby's heartbeat as my background noise. It is soothing,very strong and reminds me while all this back pain is worth it. My pain is again, not contradictions but laying flat 24/7 brings about it own serious ache My goal is to stay here at St. David's North (Womens Center) as long as we can and let this baby continue to grow and gain strength inside my womb. As his mother, laying still is all I can do now. His birth, his develpment, his chances for a strong start at life have been entirely placed in God's hands where they were all alng even when my pride did not allow me to fully embace it. My baby is my baby but it pretty humbling to come to the realization before he is my baby that he is God's precious gift to my family and I.
I am not too proud at this point to ask for prayers. I can make it to at least Thursday Baby will be 30 weeks! That would be huge! I hope to make it longer but I am setting short goals because the overall is a hard one to grasp and there us only so much I can do. It is truly a day by day mentality. Please pray for strength of my family and myself, pray for my peace if mind and for the strong development of my baby boy. I also pray for a stringer dose of Ambien tomorrow night to give me rest!! I went to bed at 1130 and am up at 4. Sleep is not an easy thing to come by right now. "Be Still and know I am God". Today my goal while not moving at all is to mediate on this and hope it brings more peace my way.
If anyone of you are in north Austin swing in by rm27. It is going to get lonely. Plus this is your ONLY chance to see me without make-up!:). I am having some trouble keeping emtions in tact right now but my tears won't burn you if they come while you are here. Please understand this feels like one of the toughest things I have ever done.
Lastly, I love my husband, Hunt, he is trying to keep Ella's world on track while ours is on a wild ride. For everyone who has offered so much, thank you. For all the calls and texts, thank you. Hopefully, I will be in here for weeks so please be patient for our help requests. We don't want to burn thru them too quickly.
Thanks for reading. Love you all.
Below are some thoughts I put on a social networking site and will add a few updates after they are posted.
Baby and Me
(written Jan. 18th)
Late Saturday night/ early Sunday morning, I discovered my water had broken. Good news the baby is 29 weeks along. Bad news that's about 13 weeks before his due date of April 1st.
Praise God labor did not begin and we got in the hospital in time for all precautionary measures to begin.
I am on complete and total bedrest. No sitting up--have you ever tried to eat anything horizontally? It is ineresting. I keep baby's heartbeat as my background noise. It is soothing,very strong and reminds me while all this back pain is worth it. My pain is again, not contradictions but laying flat 24/7 brings about it own serious ache My goal is to stay here at St. David's North (Womens Center) as long as we can and let this baby continue to grow and gain strength inside my womb. As his mother, laying still is all I can do now. His birth, his develpment, his chances for a strong start at life have been entirely placed in God's hands where they were all alng even when my pride did not allow me to fully embace it. My baby is my baby but it pretty humbling to come to the realization before he is my baby that he is God's precious gift to my family and I.
I am not too proud at this point to ask for prayers. I can make it to at least Thursday Baby will be 30 weeks! That would be huge! I hope to make it longer but I am setting short goals because the overall is a hard one to grasp and there us only so much I can do. It is truly a day by day mentality. Please pray for strength of my family and myself, pray for my peace if mind and for the strong development of my baby boy. I also pray for a stringer dose of Ambien tomorrow night to give me rest!! I went to bed at 1130 and am up at 4. Sleep is not an easy thing to come by right now. "Be Still and know I am God". Today my goal while not moving at all is to mediate on this and hope it brings more peace my way.
If anyone of you are in north Austin swing in by rm27. It is going to get lonely. Plus this is your ONLY chance to see me without make-up!:). I am having some trouble keeping emtions in tact right now but my tears won't burn you if they come while you are here. Please understand this feels like one of the toughest things I have ever done.
Lastly, I love my husband, Hunt, he is trying to keep Ella's world on track while ours is on a wild ride. For everyone who has offered so much, thank you. For all the calls and texts, thank you. Hopefully, I will be in here for weeks so please be patient for our help requests. We don't want to burn thru them too quickly.
Thanks for reading. Love you all.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Perfectly Pink
Ella is dressing herself these days thus a new chapter begins in our lives. Today is the coldest day of the year so I planned ahead for the 15 to 20 minute process of Ella picking her own outfits. I cleared the closet of her short sleeve shirts, dresses without tights or pants, princess dresses, etc. All that was left were the more “appropriate” outfits for her choosing. We are becoming more used to the colorful matches and conflicting patterns she always seems to choose. Whatever….. We have a finite of time in the morning to get ready and go so I learned to say “uncle” long ago and move on with our day.
Sidebar: This morning we woke to a cool 32 degrees and a north wind. When did we start having winter in Texas? Better question, when will we go back to normal?
Ella chose her hot pink multi color polka dot pants and her brown sweater top with pink and white hearts to wear. I, as always, said it does not match but okay. Her, as always, response was, “Yes it dues”. (She means to say “does” but cannot understand why “do” cannot be made plural. I do not either so I let it go thinking she will grow out it eventually—that is what English teachers are for, right?)
After putting on her unique attire she informed with a miserable cry that she does not like the color brown and this top simply will not work. She wants pink. Always pink. With her still crying I grab a pink turtleneck and pull it over her head thinking problem was solved. Wrong again. “This neck is bothersome,” she complained during a brief break from the whiny cry. No lie-she said it. I am losing patience at this point. Pick your clothes or don’t but let’s get on with this show.
Finally, she digs in the bottom of her closet- the corner where unknown things lie and I am saving to clean out on a day when I have nothing to do (knowing that day is not likely to come anytime soon). Drum roll please…..she pulls out another pink shirt that was long sleeved but was also one size too small. Again, whatever. She put in on, I slipped her coat around her and we were off to school. Once there, she removed her coat and to my surprise the shirt is not only one size too small but is somewhat of a belly shirt (i.e. it shows her toddler belly).
“Nice” was my only comment and I cut my eyes to her teacher. Ms. Margaret is too sweet to make a smart aleck comment like mine and simply said that it is too cold to go out side anyway and Ella will be fine in her “perfectly PINK outfit”. Good. Done. We all have lived to fight the battle another day! My family will say Ella comes by her hard head naturally. Hunt will say Ella’s mother does not always match perfectly. So if she is so much like me maybe tomorrow I will stuff candy in the pockets of the outfit I want her to choose and we can end he war before the battle starts. To be continued…..
Sidebar: This morning we woke to a cool 32 degrees and a north wind. When did we start having winter in Texas? Better question, when will we go back to normal?
Ella chose her hot pink multi color polka dot pants and her brown sweater top with pink and white hearts to wear. I, as always, said it does not match but okay. Her, as always, response was, “Yes it dues”. (She means to say “does” but cannot understand why “do” cannot be made plural. I do not either so I let it go thinking she will grow out it eventually—that is what English teachers are for, right?)
After putting on her unique attire she informed with a miserable cry that she does not like the color brown and this top simply will not work. She wants pink. Always pink. With her still crying I grab a pink turtleneck and pull it over her head thinking problem was solved. Wrong again. “This neck is bothersome,” she complained during a brief break from the whiny cry. No lie-she said it. I am losing patience at this point. Pick your clothes or don’t but let’s get on with this show.
Finally, she digs in the bottom of her closet- the corner where unknown things lie and I am saving to clean out on a day when I have nothing to do (knowing that day is not likely to come anytime soon). Drum roll please…..she pulls out another pink shirt that was long sleeved but was also one size too small. Again, whatever. She put in on, I slipped her coat around her and we were off to school. Once there, she removed her coat and to my surprise the shirt is not only one size too small but is somewhat of a belly shirt (i.e. it shows her toddler belly).
“Nice” was my only comment and I cut my eyes to her teacher. Ms. Margaret is too sweet to make a smart aleck comment like mine and simply said that it is too cold to go out side anyway and Ella will be fine in her “perfectly PINK outfit”. Good. Done. We all have lived to fight the battle another day! My family will say Ella comes by her hard head naturally. Hunt will say Ella’s mother does not always match perfectly. So if she is so much like me maybe tomorrow I will stuff candy in the pockets of the outfit I want her to choose and we can end he war before the battle starts. To be continued…..
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Across the Miles
I received a note today from my penpal. She and I have never met but her family and I have been Pen Pals all my life. As a child, her father would send me birthday cards every year. Apparently, I was the only person he ever knew to be born on his birthday. I remember when I was a kid I looked forward to the card from the man I never met with the same inscription each year. "Across the miles" was always on the cover and inside was always say with a simple "Happy Birthday" and his name. He was a friend of my grandfather's and a war hero from what I am told.
My initial Pen Pal past away some years back so I assumed I would be receiving one less card on June 10th. You can imagine my suprise when the very next brithday I received a card from an unfamiliar address. I opened it to find a birthday card from his daughter! It was not an "Across the miles" card but had the same simple inscription inside only with her signature. I was touched on so many levels. First, the fact this man, a man I never met, must have told his kids about me and the cards. I only received his generosity, I never sent him a card celebrating our joint birthday. Second, his family cared enough about him to continue his tradition and so our families continue to stay in touch.
After that card, I sat down and wrote to his daughter. In this age of cell phones and the Internet, it would have been much easier to call or email her but that felt cheap to me so I contacted her the "old fashioned" way. I told her about my life, my family and how much I appreciated her continuing the tradition. She wrote back with sweet words about my grandparents and shared things with me about her dad. I cried and smiled as my heart burst with affection for this woman I would never meet. I decided to expand the tradition some and began sending her our Christmas cards, Valentine cards, etc and occasionally a randome note with pictures of the family.
The year E was born I received a Valentines Day card from her. It may not seem like a big deal but the card was sent days before Valentine's and my loving husband just forgot to give it to me until then. In it were the most kind words about my grandmother and how proud she would be of me, how much she would love my daughter, etc. It may not seem like much but my grandmother had passsed away years before on Valentine's Day and while it is a day for love it is also one of rememberance for my family. No one can tell me that was NOT my grandmother speaking to me from the grave.
Today I received her a simple thank you note for our Happy New Year card but in it she shared another fun joint family fact: my due date of April 1st is also her sister's birthday! She is hopeful, as am I, that we can extend our little tradition to other family members.
Funny thing is my Pen Pal lives just 30 miles away and has a daughter that lives less than 10 minutes from me. We may never meet but we will always be connected from "Across the miles".
My initial Pen Pal past away some years back so I assumed I would be receiving one less card on June 10th. You can imagine my suprise when the very next brithday I received a card from an unfamiliar address. I opened it to find a birthday card from his daughter! It was not an "Across the miles" card but had the same simple inscription inside only with her signature. I was touched on so many levels. First, the fact this man, a man I never met, must have told his kids about me and the cards. I only received his generosity, I never sent him a card celebrating our joint birthday. Second, his family cared enough about him to continue his tradition and so our families continue to stay in touch.
After that card, I sat down and wrote to his daughter. In this age of cell phones and the Internet, it would have been much easier to call or email her but that felt cheap to me so I contacted her the "old fashioned" way. I told her about my life, my family and how much I appreciated her continuing the tradition. She wrote back with sweet words about my grandparents and shared things with me about her dad. I cried and smiled as my heart burst with affection for this woman I would never meet. I decided to expand the tradition some and began sending her our Christmas cards, Valentine cards, etc and occasionally a randome note with pictures of the family.
The year E was born I received a Valentines Day card from her. It may not seem like a big deal but the card was sent days before Valentine's and my loving husband just forgot to give it to me until then. In it were the most kind words about my grandmother and how proud she would be of me, how much she would love my daughter, etc. It may not seem like much but my grandmother had passsed away years before on Valentine's Day and while it is a day for love it is also one of rememberance for my family. No one can tell me that was NOT my grandmother speaking to me from the grave.
Today I received her a simple thank you note for our Happy New Year card but in it she shared another fun joint family fact: my due date of April 1st is also her sister's birthday! She is hopeful, as am I, that we can extend our little tradition to other family members.
Funny thing is my Pen Pal lives just 30 miles away and has a daughter that lives less than 10 minutes from me. We may never meet but we will always be connected from "Across the miles".
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