A hard restart is required when my cell phone is not responding. The screen goes black for 3 seconds and then resumes service. The required three seconds are hard to endure. My hope it restarts, and no data is lost, and the phone not broken consumes me. My mind goes to the worst-case scenario because I have no control. Such is life these days. We are in a dark time. It feels like a never-ending 3 second loop.
The fear of the damn virus is consuming us. People I once thought as fearless are not. People I once thought as smart have lost common sense. Robert Fulghum left out some lessons in his “All I Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten” book. A reprint is needed to add, 1. Wash your hands with soap 2. Give personal space 3. Keep your hands out of your mouth 4. Respect your classmates 5. Think before you speak
Thank you, Mrs. Miller for teaching me well.
History was not my favorite school subject. My father questioned my knowledge song lyrics and my inability/unwillingness to retain the dates/events that formed our world and nation. What was not important to me then is paramount now. History is our truth; we must embrace it and accept the past even if we dislike pieces of it. We do it with family- we all have those relatives-and ourselves- remember high school fashion/hairstyles - every day we accept the poor choices of our past and the faults of those we love and admire. Our personal history makes us who we are; we cannot erase it only learn from it. Do better. Be better. Each of us can and is able.
The same is for our nation. Great leaders have always made questionable choices, they were/are human. The world’s norms and levels of tolerance are ever changing. We cannot judge past events by today’s standards that did not exist then; it is confusing that we selectively do so. My high school years included two a day practices running suicides and bleachers in a gym on South Texas summer days with no air conditioning or real ventilation. A coach scheduling that today would be fired. More recently, the world embraced the Broadway play Hamilton. A performed history with a nearly all black cast, of an American icon who may not have owned slaves but participated in the slave business and accepted the practice but there was no outrage.
Bottom line, the Constitution that defines our rights as citizens was signed by mere men who collectively were flawed but did great things. Their actions allow for our freedom of speech so many are exercising through protests. Decency could not then and cannot now be legislated; that is something too many fail to understand.
Hate is the opposite of love. Just as Heaven is the opposite of Hell you cannot have one without the other. A thin line separates the two emotions; both are powerful and scary to feel and to see. Social media fuels the fire of “us against them”, the tinder box of the America I once knew is going up in flames. The promise of the America I love is alive and well in my heart.
This week I wished for numbness again. My non feeling, just keep smiling, make it through the day, old self. She was easy for others to accept and love. She insulated herself from feeling any pain or sadness. She busied herself without pause so there was no time to think, mourn, grieve or truly smile. This week I missed that person. This feeling business is hard. Human-ing in today’s world is hard. Loving in today’s world is heart-breaking.
My faith is clear I am not to fear things of this world, but things of this world can break my heart. I am learning to respond rather than react to help manage emotions because today I choose to feel. The current vibe of life is uncomfortable and feeling uncomfortable enacts change. Change is good. My last two years have been nothing but change and not always fun but I also felt the ache of a genuine smile that was too big and lasted too long. I rediscovered an appreciation of acts of simple kindness and allowed myself to be awed by life again. This morning I woke up receiving the promise of another day to live, to grow, to love and to learn. Join me.
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