My Sobering Experience

My friend earned his one year sobriety chip last night. He asked me to attend his AA meeting and I agreed to go. I did not know what to wear or what kind of people I would encounter. I was feeling a little nervous, a little scared and secretly little superior to those I was sure would show up. The meeting was held on a university campus but close to downtown so I was sure there would be a mix of students and professionals. All of them would be addicts. I was sure I would not fit in with them.


The meeting promptly started and there I sat overdressed, arms crossed with open ears and an open heart. These people deserved my respect for what they have overcome and my pity for where they have been in their journeys to sobriety; didn’t they? I looked around and surmised the average age of the crowded room was 22. I was not just overdressed but now I felt old. The fresh, innocent faces showed few, if any signs, of their addictions. One by one, they put a voice to their struggles and it became clear that although I was older than most of them had lived enough for four lifetimes. The journeys and Hell they have seen and lived also made them wiser than I expected. It was a sobering thought when I realized I could learn a lot from an addict.

The meeting took place in a basement but the atmosphere loosely resembled a church. Actually, it resembled what a church should be. The honesty in the room was disarming. “Hi. I am John and I am an addict/alcoholic” I smirked when I first heard it because it really was just like in the movies. After hearing one testimony after another, the purity of their words and the strength of their faith was overwhelming. This was a room full of addicts and alcoholics; this was also a room full of Christians. My presence in a church should be viewed as a declaration that I am weak. I should stand and say, “Hi. My name is Wendy and I am a sinner,” but I don’t. I go to church once a week for an hour a week and I question why I feel lost at times. These people live church every minute everyday as a way to stay clean but more importantly alive.

A familiar theme in last night’s meeting was living not in the past or future but the present; this very moment. When you live in the moment you are fully present and can correct or address actions that cause you anxiety. When you live in the moment you do not regret a moment that you lived today next week. Then it hit me; I am not an addict or alcoholic but I am “one of them” only I strive to reach the level of faith that many of them live every day. We should all be so lucky to live with that kind of faith. I hate to think I would need an addiction to get me there.

To be blunt, I am inspired. There were no saints in that room last night. We were all sinners just trying to find our way.