My Sobering Moment

My friend earned his one year AA sobriety chip and asked me to attend his meeting.  I agreed to go.  I did not know what to wear or what kind of people I would encounter.  I was feeling a little nervous, a little scared and secretly a little superior to those I was sure would show up in attendance.  The meeting was held on campus, close to downtown so I was sure there would be a mix of students and professionals.  All of them would be addicts.  I was sure I would not fit in with them.

The meeting started promptly and that I sat overdressed with my arms crossed, open ears and an open heart.  These people deserved my respect for what they have overcome and my pity for where they have been in their journeys to sobriety; didn't they?  I looked around and surmised the average age of the crowded room was about 22.  I was not just overdressed but now I felt old.  The fresh, innocent faces showed few, if any signs, of their addictions.  One by one, they put a voice to their struggles and it become clear that although I was older than most of them they had all lived enough for four lifetimes.  The journeys and Hell they have seen and lived also made them wiser than I expected.  It was sobering moment when I realized I could learn a lot from an addict.

The meeting took place in a basement but the atmosphere loosely resembled a church.  Actually, it resembled what a church should be.  The honestly in the room was disarming.  "Hi.  I am John and I am an addict/alcoholic"  I smirked when I first heard it because it really was just like in the movies.  After hearing one testimony after another the purity of their words and the strength of their faith was overwhelming.  The was a room full of addicts and alcoholics; this was also a room full of Christians.  My presence in my church every Sunday (most Sundays….) is a declaration that I am weak.  I should stand and say, "Hi, my name is Wendy and I am a sinner," but I don't speak.  I go to church each week for one hour, pray a few times during the week and then question why I sometimes feel lost.  The people in that basement on that day live "church" every minute of every day as a way to stay clean and more importantly to stay alive.

A familiar theme in the meeting was living not in the past or future but the present; this very moment.  When you live in the moment you are fully present and can correct or address actions that cause anxiety. When you live in the moment you live without regret.  That is when it hit me; I am not an addict or alcoholic but I am "one of them" only I at times aspire to reach their level of faith on a daily basis.  We should all be so aware to live with that kind of faith.  I hate to think I would need an addiction to get me there.

To be blunt, I am inspired.  There were no saints in the that room.  We were all sinners just trying to find our way.
Be blessed