The imperfect tree is ready to be taken down. It was nice to have the real thing for once but next year we will have an artificial tree. The stress of whether another ornament will fall, worrying if it needs more water, and today's exercise of taking down those dang lights is just not worth me doing again.
Judge me if you want, I don't care anymore- I am an adult. This is new declaration for me. I am a college graduate, a married woman, heck I birthed two beautiful children but still somehow did not feel grown up. Despite being in my late thirties, I still feel like a kid inside who likes to be taken care of, have mom cook my dinner and not mind if I skip the dishes one night. My husband endures this immaturity just as I accept his. I think few people my age feel as old as we really are.
I cooked my first full Christmas meal with no help earlier this week. No help at all, by choice. I did not grow up in the "teamwork" decade. Not everyone got a trophy on my soccer team. The dinner was awesome. I earned my "Good Housekeeping" seal and shocked my husband with my culinary skills all at once. Good day.
As I stood in my kitchen trying to time the baking of the green bean casserole, the stuffing, the ham, turkey and glazed carrots just right I had never felt as "adult"as I did in that moment. I was a mom telling her kids to stop running around, a wife asking my husband to take our little angels to the park, a daughter in law smiling at the regular check-ins of my well intentioned mother in law and just like that I accepted my adulthood.
The days following that moment have kept the adult moments rolling in..... a broken down care, expense for a six year old's oral surgery, acting like a shut in because it is too damn cold for anything else. Life as an adult is a little exhausting so this weekend I am doing what many women do when a break is needed, I am going to see my mom.
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