Family Tradition

A picture is worth a thousand words......

E created this her first week of school.  I was not surprised.  Her little brother had chomped down on her arm in a two year old psycho rage just days before school started.  The imprint of his bite was visible for days.  She was a little upset.  

Approximately 31 years ago, my sister experienced the same exact rage from her little firecracker of a sister......me.  Even back then I was a perfectionist and over achiever; I bit her upper arm so hard my bite imprint is still visible today.  The apple never falls far from the tree.

Totally Dorking Out!!!

I am so lucky that I continually get to add people to my "personal heroes list" all the time.  I am fortunate to come into contact with so many who have positively impacted my life.

A recent personal hero is someone I have never met, Dr. Brene Brown.  She is a stud.  I went to her latest book reading at Book People and was one of a few hundred to show up and listen.  Her books, including her latest, Daring Greatly, have impacted my life in such positive ways I would need to start a whole new blog to name them all.  Bottom line: don't be afraid to be vulnerable, we must confront shame to feel joy, NO ONE is perfect- NO ONE so get over yourself and start living life.  She also quotes White Snake in her latest book.... what is not to love?

Background:
When I started this blog I was scared to death.  There was not and still is not anything scarier in my life than putting my writing out there for all to read.  I mean, my family always loved my writings but c'mon they also never told me I needed a style makeover in high school.  (Think poodle dog perms...need I say more).  The day another personal hero and dear friend, Ms. Alma Lehman, passed away I decided it was time to put myself out there.  Maybe it was my way of staying connected to her through the airwaves that may reach to the Heavens--you never know-- whatever, I wanted to publish.

Tonight I was bold and sent BRENE BROWN, PhD (who read my blog) a link to this page.  She is a busy woman on a book tour, dealing with kids at home, probably working on her next book by now but I thought maybe she would have some downtime at an airport and maybe, just maybe, she would check Twitter.  She did!!  She read my blog and also made my day.

Here is the lesson, be bold in your life, be brave.  I want to bottle the feelings I have right now but I cannot so instead I will have to do something more daring tomorrow.  I will be Daring Greatly.

Thank you, Brene.  If you ever want to catch up when you visit Austin you know where to find me.  :)

Be Brave

My daughter is sensitive.  And by sensitive I mean that she trotted off the basketball court DURING a game and ask that I not yell out her name because, "it upsets me," she said.  For the record, I was yelling something along the lines of "Get your hands up E.  Defense!!!"  I told her I understood and sent her back on the court.  I kept my mouth shut and she blocked a shot.  Lesson learned.

Seriously, E is more sensitive than most and it has opened up a world I never knew existed.  There are millions of feelings in this world and E feels every single one.  The tone of your voice can ruin her day.  We are working on her listening to the words people say and not how they say them.  I am hoping this will keep her in sports.  She comes home twice a week thinking her gymnastics coach is mad at her.  It does not enter her mind that one may need to yell with 25 girls running around in a gymnastics class.

A month into the school year she told me she did not like the saying, "have a good day".  That was a shocker because that is what I said every morning as I gave her a kiss and sent her on her way.  E thought there was too much pressure on her if she "had" to have a good day everyday.  Her exact words were along the line of, "but mom everyday is not going to be a good day.  Some days are better than others and I don't want to let you down".  She is six.  Six years old and I swear that came out of her mouth.

So I took a few days off from sending her off with any saying.  Then one day it came to me.  Be Brave.  I told her to "be brave" and asked her to remember that I loved her.  For someone as sensitive as Ella it is hard to take chances.  Heck, it is hard for anyone to take chances.  Some of us just wear the fear of taking a chance more on our sleeve than others.  Be Brave.

Bravery will enable her to ask a new friend to play.  Bravery will get her through having to read in front of the class.  And bravery will help her finish out the day when she gets homesick.  I am taking my own advice and trying to be brave in my own life.   I wish the same for everyone I love.  Imagine if we all stopped living in fear and did one courageous thing.  Odds are if you do one courageous thing it will lead to another.....  Be Brave! 



 

Mini Mac

My sister is petite and nice and genuine everyday not just when its convenient.  In summary, she is my opposite in many ways.  My parents and our extended family raised us right but Shelley came out nice too.  I envy that in her.

As children she was always "on".  She loved Center Stage and everyone loved her being on it.  I stayed in the background and jumped rope or something else where I would not have to make eye contact.  Somewhere, at some point, that changed.  I think it may have been when I out grew my older "little" sister.  I assumed the role of being the protector because I was expected to be.  Even though I was as thin as a rail I was taller and therefore I stepped up and became "Big Mc".

Shelley always feels things to the core of her being.  Injustice is not accepted or tolerable and will bring on tears.  While I am plotting how to respond or react Shelley clinches her fist, grits her teeth and says, "That is not right!"  The she goes to a sleepless night asking herself why/how some people can be so mean.  I love her for the realness that she possesses.

I have always said that together Shelley and I combined would really make the perfect person but separate we lack a little bit.  I truly believe that.  If I gave her a little of my backbone and she gave me a little more of her sensitivity we could rule the world.  Please do not misunderstand: I feel and am very sensitive but I tend to deal with the situation at hand and feel the emotion later.  It is not at all healthy but that is my way.

Shelley feels, Shelley loves and she never gives up on things.  We have gone through ups and downs in our paths.  There are times we did not connect and other times when we got real with each other.  She has always wanted more from our relationship and I continue to try and let down that protective guard but she is my sister and I am still her protector in many ways.  At least, I think so even when it is plainly obvious that I am not.

One day I hope to be the sister she wants and deserves.  I hope to be more like her.  I do not give her enough credit; of course, neither does she.  Tonight she is on my mind.  Tonight I am reminded that she and I share the same blood and our heart can beat as one.  I love her and hope she knows just how much.

GONE

E spent all last week with my parents.  The time away provided a small amount of time for us to connect with Boone a little deeper than usual and for E to make fabulous memories with my parents.  During the week I found myself really missing E.  The mornings were a bit more smooth but a piece of my heart was not here.  I now understand the saying that your kids are like a piece of your heart that walk around outside of your body.

I found myself thinking about how it would be like when she got home.  Boone was missing his sister so much last week I just knew we would see hugs and kisses when she returned.  And we did see all of that adoration for the first 10 minutes of the reunion.  Now it is all GONE.

I am able to type this tonight because I put the kids to bed early....B without dinner.  It was that bad.  He bite her, she hit him.  He flipped his plate of food over (hence the no dinner part), spilt his milk and had a mouth so smart it deserved a degree.  I was neither amused or impressed.  Ella did her part to egg it on but mostly she tried to stay out the way.

Gone are the thoughts of my children loving on each other on this the first night of their reunion after a week apart.  Gone is my patience after dealing with their constant bickering.  Gone is my week and now we will begin another.  My heart is whole again but now where did my sanity go?

Where's My Safety Net?

Boone looked thoroughly confused as I sat him on the little potty seat that sits atop the regular toilet seat.  He looked from side to side and then asked, "Where's the seat belt?".  My husband and I laughed and tried to explain one was not needed but B was not so sure.

To his credit, the little seat was fairly new to him.  Most of the time we use the little potty to try and get him to go but still him wanting some security on a new venture is a familiar feeling for us all.

I could go farther with this lesson but think the story is cute enough to just end it here.

Hug your babies

I am thankful it is not my place in this world to judge and punish those that do wrong against their fellow man.  I am so thankful (and they are lucky) that Jerry Sandusky, the Colorado shooter, and any other man, woman or child that is causing harm against children, our fellow man or any innocent soul does not have to answer to me.  My first thoughts are:  Shame on you, shame of all of you for stealing an innocent’s childhood, exploiting vulnerability and just mean a plain ol’ meanie.

I am not strong enough to shoulder their burdens or live with knowing the depths of their guilt and sicknesses.  Each time a crime like theirs is exposed our collective humanity is weakened somewhat.  Slowly, demented souls expose the depths of depravity that humans can dwell in and that weakens us as a whole.  For every level of sin one may reach, someone else will go one deeper.   

It is our responsibility to rise up against this evil and protect our families while we gain strength through each other’s generosities.  Trust should be earned before given freely and that is a lesson we must teach our kids. 

I have faith that this latest scandal shall pass, we will begin to heal but we will never forget.  I truly hope my little corner of this great, big world remains untouched for a bit longer.  I want my babies raised worrying about skinned knees, bad hair days and the occasional pimple on picture day.  I pray they do not have to deal with the massacre of classmates or try and understand the bad choices of adults they know and trust.   

Faith, hope, love is all that remains and above all these is love.