Sing Sunshine, Mama

B is my baby. He is the child I prayed for, the child who taught me to pray for patience while on bed rest to keep him safe. He brought me closer to God and renewed my faith in miracles. Today B is 2 years healthy. He is mess of blonde hair, big smiles and larger than life prescence. His battery rarely runs low and we say when he sleeps that he is only recharging. I have expressed before that my life is hectic. When B was born the workload did not double as I thought it would with a second child; it exponentially exploded. There are days I still feel guilty for taking a shower or putting on make-up. E is at the age where she is fairly self sufficient but B is another story. Two nights ago, I was running on empty after 2 hours at the park preceded by an 8 hour work day then dinner, baths etc... At 8pm, I was ready for some silence and peace and luckily it was bedtime for B. He is in a big boy bed now so sometimes I sit with him as he falls asleeps and reconnect to the child who usually drives me crazy. That night, as he laid his head on his pillow, I began to stroke his hair to calm him. He loves someone brushing or stroking his hair. I am already praying that his future wife has the patenience and love to continue this practice once he leaves my home and creates one with her. So there we are, me and my baby in his dark bedroom, me sitting by his side when he looked up and gave me that grin and said, "Sing Sunshine to me Mama". He didn't notice when my voice cracked from emotion as I started to sing "You Are My Sunshine". I sang that song to him when he was a tiny baby and on some nights since then to try and calm him down. In all those times, I never thought about him actually listening to me-- I hope I kept my gangsta rap to a minimum. In that moment, he reminded me he is still a baby boy. My baby boy. I have not used any time to huff at his energy since that night. Just as my voice brings him comfort, his prescence in my life helps to give me purpose. Have I mentioned I also have a daughter? I love her too, I promise!