Today I Colored

Today I colored. Ella’s coloring book was left out with her colors strewn about and I could not resist. Work is stressful and the minutia of my everyday activity had created a heavy load. I felt a sense of relief as I picked up the Red and let my inner child out to play. Today was a “color inside the lines” kind of day. This was not about self expression, this was therapy. I let my imagination play as I choose my colors, Blue for the sky, Green for the leaves of the tree and Light Green for the turtle’s shell.

My grandmother kept our colors in a cigar box. Very few were whole, most were without wrappers but all were coveted by each grand daughter who took possession of the cigar box. As I colored today, I smelled the familiar smell that only Crayola can provide and I smiled. I took care in making sure each flower was colorful and unique and when I was done I signed my name and added the date underneath. We always dated our colored pages of art growing up; it was just what we did. Perhaps it was because, like the cigar box of colors, our coloring books were also communal property. Properly signing and dating a page was our way of staking our claim on a little piece of family history.

I have finished my picture and the Wonder Pets have never looked so good. I thumbed through the book and saw Ella’s stray marks and wild color pairings on several pages. At 2, she did not have to obey the rules of the coloring. She had not been pressured to conform and took great liberty with her bold strokes and random color choices. Soon enough my baby will learn the rules- she has already started at 3- and I, unfortunately, will probably be the mom that puts a shiny star on the picture where she finally stays inside the lines. It is my prayer that when she begins to color responsibly she will also learn to appreciate the freedoms of self expression and those random, bold strokes she made as a toddler. I also pray she will not have a day where she is reduced to coloring in silence as a way of finding peace. O’ Father, grant me grace….