Our world continues to turn and Boone's stay in NICU has not become its center but close. He is free of all tubes, oxygen, IVs, etc and is in an open crib. Saturday night Boone was given a 7 hour oxygen test. He failed the test so he trip home has been delayed for a short bit. It seems after Boone ate his breathing rates dropped a bit. It is not life threatening, he just needs to get a little bigger and he can come home. The doctor will try the test again on Wednesday so our fingers are crossed and prayer card is full.
I sit and look at the baby "things" we have scattered throughout our tiny home and have mixed emotions. There is sadness in acknowledging that he is not yet home. Hope in knowing he may be here in a few days. Happiness that my baby is alive, growing, and maturing without cords, IVs, tubes. So many babies in the NICU are not near as fortunate in that respect. I pray for their families. Guilt that in some way I caused this hardship on my infant son and my family. Humility, excitement, sadness...they are all present and mixed up together. Noticeably absent is fear because unlike some I know my baby is coming home and will be a healthy little boy.
Today I had to leave a wide eyed, relaxed Boone in the his crib after his feeding was done. He has the biggest blue eyes! It hurts to walk away when he looks like he is staring straight at you. The doctor who walked in to do Boone's daily asseessment reminded me Boone really cannot see me turning my back to walk out on him but I would like to think he would miss my scent. I had just been telling him that the loud beeps and alarms he hears in the NICU will not be in our house--a little encouragement never hurts even with a preemie. He will have to endure loud shrieks and laughter from his big sister and endless hours of children's TV. Everything has a price....
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